I haven’t posted in a while and thats because I have been working on planning my final thesis project. Without revealing too much of my plans, I am creating a full scale diorama of a museum. This isn’t just any museum but rather a mix of all the museums that ever have been and its called the Place and Time Museum. Within the museum are large scale murals, satirical exhibits, an introductory video featuring the curator, and plenty of misleading information. This Diorama is trying to cut down the incredibility of the supposed credible information givers that infest our American culture with bias and agenda in everything they tell us to believe. Here are some possible display descriptions (again not revealing too much, you’ll just have to wait and see), mural designs, as well as a possible floor plan.
Holy Relics From a Holy Land
The United States has always had a rich religious background. Since the American constitution was signed, the United States has been a Christian nation and still remains so today. Christian Relics are a part of this diverse history, deeply entwined into the theology of American Christianism. The relics exhibited here are not only sacred to the American people but are symbols, for them, of their greatness and superiority in the ways of religious fervor and order. The shoelace of Jessica Lynch for example is a relic of a soldier of Christ who fell in battle defending God’s people.
A Head Hunter and His Trophies
The Place and Time Museum is very pleased to exhibit this piece, which is on loan from a private collector. For the very first time in forty years the public can see this very unique piece of jewelry. Usually a Headhunter necklace similar to this only features one or sometimes even two heads, but this piece contains four. The heads of dictators Saddam Hussein, President Ahmadinejad, Osama Bin Laden, and Ayatollah Khomeini are all interwoven into a spectacular display of early Headhunter Revenge Art. Though the original owner of this piece is unknown, researchers say they believe it is from the early Severe Terror Risk period because it was excavated at a site near Crawford, Texas, a known head hunting territory. Notice the beautiful detail of Ahmadinejad’s last dying grimace, simply remarkable.
Women are from Venus, Men Have a Penis
In 1873 the Institute of Gender Inferiority did extensive research into the subject of women’s fragility. After a series of tests in which subjects were exposed to radiation in different prescribed doses it was discovered that women tended to grow feline ears and whiskers similar to those of domestic pussycats while slowly withering away and perishing several days later. Men, however, had the resilience to stay alive with reduced motor skills, slurred incoherent speech, and a slumped “Neanderthal brow”. Scientists postulated that not only were female subjects too weak to withstand such a barrage but their brains are significantly smaller to that of the males. It was proven that males have the intelligence to overcome such situations whereas females clearly have a weaker will to live.
“False Civil War Imminence Era” Dueling Set (Caucasian, North America)
A dueling set like this was usually used by two individuals who disagreed over a matter so greatly that they could not resolve it with mere spoken words. A heated argument would then lead to the dishonor of someone eventually and then a duel would be called to settle their differences. The duelers would then use one of these sets supplied by a man who was not involved with the feud and would march off ten paces. At the end of ten paces the men would turn to each other and attempt to shout down the other. The first dueler to be knocked on conscious would then be ridiculed and the winner would be forgiven of all dishonors. These duels rarely solved anything but rather created more feuds.
The Resurrection of Blackbeard the Pirate
During the Era of Great Fear, a group of three Muslim Extremists from Somalia with ties to Al Quaida, Hezbollah, Suddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Timothy McVeigh stole the body of Blackbeard the Pirate from the conservation department’s walk-in freezer at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, California. The terrorists exported his decapitated body in a treasure chest, depicted here, to a Cryogenics lab in Roseville Minnesota. The group high jacked the lab’s scientists in the hopes that they could cryogenically preserve the pirate so that one day he could be brought back to life and terrorize the United States in the name of Islam. The plan was quickly foiled when Jessica Lynch, who was walking her dog near the lab at the time, heard loud noises from inside. She busted down a backdoor and tipped over a Cryotube containing Walt Disney crushing the terrorists to death. Lynch was proclaimed a hero, Blackbeard’s body was destroyed, and the Museum of Tolerance was shutdown by federal authorities.